The desk of Savannah J

Just a Step Mother

Posted by Author Savannah Jackson on December 29, 2011 at 2:40 PM

From the desk of Savannah J

This past December 18th marked the 15th anniversary of the death of my son or as society refers to him, my step son. He died at the age of 17 as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident. For five long weeks, my now ex-husband and I made the hour and a half drive that it took to visit with him. We would go down on every Friday afternoon after getting off from work and stay until Sunday night. For the entire five weeks that he lay in the trauma unit, he never regained consciousness but remained on life support.

The doctors and nurses did all that they could to save his life but his injuries were too severe. I was told during that time, that my job was to support my husband and be there for him in whatever capacity needed. Now, here in lies the interesting piece; very few people verbalized or even acknowledged, I may be in pain as well.

My (step) son had lived with us along with my birth son. I washed his stinky underwear and socks along with my birth son's. When I cooked, I cooked for everybody. If he needed a ride, or was sick or needed money, I took care of him too. I'm not saying all was rosy and peachy but we were a family, yet my pain rarely acknowledged. 

When well meaning family and friends would ask about my (step) son's progress, he was referred to as my husband's son. On occasion when I just couldn't take anymore, I'd correct them and let them know he was mine too. Now, you may be wondering where I'm going with all of this; well, I'll tell ya.

There are many hard working, excellent parenting, self-less step parents out there and we deserve to be acknowledged as a part of our children's lives and not seen as bystanders. When our (step) children hurt, we hurt. When they are happy, we are happy. They are just as much a part of our lives and live as deeply in our hearts as our birth children.  

Each December since my (step) son's death I have a difficult time. At the beginning of the month, I find myself  sad and crying and although I feel this way yearly, it takes me a minute to figure out what's wrong with me. Around the middle December, just before the anniversary of his death, I reach out to my ex-husband. I phone him and burst into tears at the sound of his voice. We usually don't talk very long; I just need to speak with someone who loved our son the way I did.

There are those who attempt to find the words to say to help me feel better but ultimately, I find myself trying to explain that even though I'm just a step mother, I loved my (step) son as my own. So, it's easier to phone my ex and cry on his shoulder, knowing he understands.

If there is someone in your circle who has been blessed with the role of parenting a child they did not birth, please offer them your support. And know that if God forbid something happens to that child, they will want to be acknowledged as more that just a step mother/father.

Until we meet again, be blessed and Happy New Year!

Savannah J

Categories: None

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In


Reply Rfvbpuche
3:46 AM on May 3, 2021 
ver to bay cialis 20mg original cialis product dapoxetine
Reply FmrfTriNc
11:43 AM on May 3, 2021 
generic cialis - cialis black cialis 20mg prices
Reply Lbsopuche
8:14 PM on May 3, 2021 
cialis nex day delivery uk cialis no prescription paypal
Reply Osciste
7:02 PM on May 4, 2021 
buy levitra
Reply JebgTriNc
3:24 AM on May 7, 2021 
international drug mart canadian pharmacy online store Buspar
Reply Rebfpuche
5:34 AM on May 7, 2021 
local generic cialis in united states - generic cialis canada cialis price walmart
Reply Bbshlelt
4:17 PM on May 8, 2021 
lisinopril and viagra - viagra how to use the first time how long for viagra to kick in
Reply LebnTriNc
9:17 PM on May 8, 2021 
Mobic prescription drugs online without doctor Imitrex
Reply Gtnbsmibe
7:30 PM on May 11, 2021 
where to buy viagra online - viagra after prostate removal viagra cost per pill
Reply LebnTriNc
2:40 PM on May 16, 2021 
Cephalexin pharmacy open near me
Reply JebgTriNc
12:43 PM on May 20, 2021 
canadian pharmacy 24h com Topamax
Reply AnooTriNc
9:19 AM on May 24, 2021 
best online pharmacy for generic viagra reviews qual o melhor viagra levitra cialis
Reply Bbshlelt
10:17 AM on May 24, 2021 
is there anything over the counter that works like viagra? - viagra vs cialis vs levitra real viagra for sale
Reply TriNcGtv
9:42 PM on May 28, 2021 
medication costs adderall xr canada pharmacy can i be denied employment due to prescription drugs
Reply TriNcAni
12:50 PM on June 3, 2021 
canadian pharmacy cipa is canadian family pharmacy legitimate canadian pharmacy levitra
Reply orgamloh
4:16 PM on August 4, 2021 
cialis viagara buy cialis from cananda how to cut 20mg. cialis cialis shop online ’
Reply PreroVed
6:08 AM on August 6, 2021 
generic cialis best seller cialis cialis reviews photos cialis canada and paypal ’
Reply orgamloh
2:32 PM on August 8, 2021 
cialis dose cialis no prescription overnight delivery is cialis from india safe ? cheap cialis with dapoxetine ’
Reply exebyAni
10:54 AM on August 10, 2021 
canadian pharmacies online reviews canadian pharmacy 247 cheap medications the drug store ’
Reply orgamloh
5:09 AM on August 12, 2021 
generic cialis is it legal to buy cialis online? how can i get cialis in australia cialis pills low price ’